SIR, PLEASE

(Agoura Hills, CA) - Sir, Please is a band of four best friends from Agoura Hills, California. The origins of the funkadelic pop outfit are still a complete mystery, although numerous theologians have dedicated their lives to uncover the many secrets of old (and failed). What information we can gather through the collected ancient texts is sparse, but informative nonetheless. It is written that Shane Cronin was a semi-finalist in the 2013 Fingerboarding World Championship, whose career was brought to a swift and tragic end when he broke his pinky kickflipping a 10-stair. After dabbling in numerous finger-sports, his passions translated nicely to piano. Michael Leese and Josh Cronin were deep-sea scavengers in the Caspian Sea, on a quest to discover the hidden city of Atlantis. When their search lead them to a resort and spa in the Bahamas, they lost their passion for the pursuit and decided to start a band instead. They immediately pawned off their scuba gear and deep sea medallions for a guitar and bass. David Kohn was the son of two spice runners on a distant planet, whose Force sensibilities were completely unmatched. Though he was still a youngling, he had grown too powerful, and his greed overtook him; there was no stopping the darkness within. Ever since, he has been on a mission to rule the galaxy. He has to play drums on the side, because galactic armies are increasingly pricy. Now, after years locked away in a stinky dungeon together, they’re back for revenge; but against what?